Joke One
A man goes on a 2 month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother.
Three days before his return he calls his brother.
Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?
Brother 2: He’s Dead
Brother 1: He’s Dead! What do you mean he’s dead? I loved that cat. Couldn’t you think of a nicer way to tell me! I’m leaving in 3 days. You could have broken the news in an easier way. You could have told me – today that she got out of the house, or something.
Then when I called before I left, you could have told me…Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we’re having trouble getting her down.
Then when I called you from the airport, you could have told me… The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.
Brother 2: I’m sorry…you’re right…that was insensitive I won’t let it happen again.
Brother 1: All right, all right, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?
Brother 2: She’s up on the roof and we’re having trouble getting her down.
Joke Two
A man knocked on the door of a house.
When the woman answered it, he said, “I am terribly sorry, but I have just run over your cat. Can I replace him for you?”
“Why,” answered the woman, “are you any good at catching mice?”!
Joke Three
My mother sent me to meet my sister at the bus stop when she was coming home from school one day.
I went to the bus stop and there was an elderly woman sitting on the seat, waiting for the bus.
I asked her, “How long will the next bus be?”
“About six meters” she answered!